Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Randomize
