The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize