Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
