you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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