I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
