I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize