oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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