Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
