I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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