so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
