Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
