somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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