Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
