I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
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So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
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I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He has the fingertips of a God
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