He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
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