Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
