Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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