This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
