we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
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I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
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I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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