Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
