So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
