I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
