Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
