I just pynch a tree in the face
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
