Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
