Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
