Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize