...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
