Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize