i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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