how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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