I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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