I smell stomach acid.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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