That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
