jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
