im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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