just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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