Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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