Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
