Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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