I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
