i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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