She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize