I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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