i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Buhtt sex?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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