they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My brain says no but my pants say off.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
