I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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