what day is it and did you see me today?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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