I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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