I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize