I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize