ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
