so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
