I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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