do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
