if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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