end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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