capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
