I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
